No Greater Sin

I've been taught my whole life that God sees all sins as equal, which escaped my understanding back in the day: someone killing someone was just as bad, in God's eyes, as someone lying to their parents (my prominent struggle back then) - that, to me, was insane! The Lord has blessed me with a better understanding over the years and I can clearly see his reasoning for that idea now. Anything that is not of God is against God, anything that is sinful separates us from him, no matter the smallest of envious feelings or the boldest actions from hatred – anything sprung out of pride is found repugnant in His eyes. It makes sense, now. I know His grace, I understand His boundaries, and I fear His consequences and wrath. I desire to obey Him, to live a righteous life that brings glory to His name… and yet, I still struggle.

There are many large obstacles in my path, clearly sinful impediments that I chose to go through rather than ask God to take me around them. It’s easy for me to take advantage of his mercy and grace and the idea that no one sin is greater than any other; it’s easy for me to say that and compare my constant struggle to that of a mere white lie (which in His eyes is detestable, yet in our society’s eyes it’s a necessity) and figure it’s no big deal if I keep my “small” struggle to myself and not give it to God just a little while longer. I’ve been living that way for so long, and I know it is a weight that slows my growth in my walk with him. I know it’s a burden that I can easily give to God, so why don’t I?

In Ephesians 5, Paul talks about certain sinful deeds that are not holy and only serve to separate us from his Kingdom. He listed out only a select few acts, a select few that I found repeatedly warned about over and over and over again throughout the Bible, all the sins that are spawned from their father: pride. Paul lists the sins, discusses them each briefly, and reminds the followers to not believe the lies spread about the specific sinful acts – the lies that say the acts are okay/ not as bad as others/ a part of life/ etc.

That was my problem. I know my struggles are bad and do not glorify his name, they only lift my selfish pride up – sometimes above His throne, even. I chose to continue dwelling within my obstacles because I truly believed it wasn’t as bad as it seemed. I chose to lend an ear to the world’s “truth” and advice rather than to my Father’s! – the creator of me and my heart and my path. I feel so foolish.

Yes, no one sin is greater, in every little sinful act I do separates me from His throne. My disobedience (even in the most minuscule way) dishonors Him, hurts Him, and taints His name in the eyes of the unknowing world that watch me.

In the past you were full of darkness, but now you are full of light in the Lord. So live like children who belong to the light. Light brings every kind of goodness, right living, and truth. Try to learn what pleases the Lord. Have nothing to do with the things done in darkness, which are not worth anything. But show that they are wrong… Use every chance you have for doing good, because these are evil times.”

-Ephesians 5: 8-11 & 16

Amen.