6 little monkeys jumpin on a bed, 1 fell off and bumped his head...

6 - 1 = 5
{in no particular order}

my 5 most favorite things to do...
5. create
4. read
3. play
2. dance
1. laugh


my 5 most favorite songs, ever...
1. something by the beatles
2. in & out by hillsongunited
3. paradise city by guns & roses
4. across the universe by the beatles
5. clocks by coldplay


my 5 best memories so far...
5. watching robin hood men in tights with my sisters... anytime & everytime we do so
4. lounging in grassy fields with benj, ice water, and a good book
3. creating art to the garden state soundtrack my senior year
2. white water rafting, all 3 times i've done so, with krisie noelle & kristin kemp that one time
1. spain


my 5 worst memories so far...
1. my mom's early departure
2. my dad's coma
3. fighting with krisie noelle, losing her friendship for about a year
4. the depths of high school, the brokenness it can produce on such innocent hearts
5. the dark nights of my freshman year in college


what i'm most thankful for, limit: 5...
5. my friends
4. my love
3. my church
2. his grace
1. my family


5 things i would share with the world, if i could...
1. ridiculous dance moves
2. laughter
3. truth
4. comfort
5. inner peace, the kind only jesus' love produces


5 wishes...
i wish i was a better person. a kinder person, more gentler, more graceful, more patient with my loved ones. i wish i was more like the kind of woman my mom wanted me to be... the kind of person my mom was. beautiful inside that radiated out.

i wish i could write the same kind of poetry i did 7 years ago. 7 years ago i was still innocent in my understanding of this world. 7 years ago my heart sang forth a perceived truth and love that felt like it would last forever... it may not have been real, but it was really nice to know then.

i wish i was more thoughtful with my words and actions. the bible constantly warns against unguarded words; we will be held accountable by our words one day, if only i paid more time and attention to thinking mine through before i vomit them up like high school's meat-surprise.

i wish i wasn't so self-involved. i wish i didn't take myself, my life, my present state of being so seriously. this life is not mine, and yet i cling to it as though it's my life boat, my measly destroyed wooden raft. isaiah mocks idol-worshipers, laments them, i see that, and yet i still close-fist my life.

i wish i did a lot of things different in my past, made different decisions. however, i am so thankful for the Lord's grace, love, patience, forgiveness, and forgetfulness. i love how he can take a broken, desperate life like mine and turn it into something of worth and glory for his name. i'm thankful that he has me, that he's had me since before i was a thought in my parents' eye, and will have me for all eternity.