...over one year later...

diligence. maybe not my style, always.

life has changed tremendously since my last post. i quit a job i felt so lonely in, took on two jobs that were more or less stopping points on a wide and vast growth spurt, left both of those jobs for my current one where i am learning/ growing/ expanding each day from and within. i am finally figuring out who i am more and more each day, with the understanding that i will be a completely different person 5 years from who i am today.

my spiritual walk is sincere, and deeper than i could have ever imagined. i credit a lot of my new found understanding to beth moore's daniel study. so impacting. never wanted it to end. it's refreshing to receive spiritual guidance from one place or medium that is completely aligned with the teachings i receive weekly from the village. nothing contradicts. all is found from biblical truth that was not sifted through men's hands.

ben and i are one year closer to marriage... i feel. we have been through a lifetime of heights and struggles, and only a stronger bond to show for it. we are both learning how to make necessary sacrifices of self in order to live for Christ and honor the each other. we have a long way to go before the relationship becomes easy, but it is one bumpy road i am looking most forward to.

i am reading donald miller's 'a million miles in a thousand years,' and with each turn of the page i am reminded on how small my life is in comparison to this world. how insignificant my story is in the grand scheme of life. also, it is a constant reminder that i would not be mad if donald and i were friends. there was that one time i met him...

i am frustrated with college. more frustrated than i've been in a while. each passing semester should make one happy and elated with the promising future of their graduation. not for me. with each passing semester life gets that much harder to navigate through. currently i am facing the questions: how am i going to finish paying for this current semester? how am i going to pay for the next few? how will i continue working at the first job i love while finishing with the mundane classes that i dread? my impending graduation date seems further off than a million bucks, i don't know how to find joy, patience or clarity in this "special time of my life."

i still love my jupiter house coffee... and i could go for some right now. but i won't.

hokay. until... 2010...