Like I said, things happen unexpectedly. I received an email from Delta today stating that I unfortunately was not chosen for the position at this time. Well, it was nice of them to send me an email letting me know instead of letting me wait it out like the flame of a candle slowly burning to the wick's end. It was unexpected, to say the least.
I had a false sense of entitlement, if you want to know the truth. I felt I deserved to have that position, it was my heart's deepest desire. How ridiculous of me to feel that way. What do I deserve, other than the rightful punishment for the sins committed against an Almighty God? Why would God "owe me" this? It's natural and okay to have feelings of disappointment over this, but shock...? Why should I feel shocked that Delta didn't choose me for this position? Someone told me they received thousands of applicants for the very position I applied for. Why should I feel I deserved it more than any of the other thousand applicants? There was the spark of hope that I felt when I received a phone call from a Delta employee to interview me. After spending close to 45 minutes on the phone with him answering all sorts of "what if" questions over possible scenarios I'd experience as a flight attendant, he told me he was happy to tell me I was passed on to the next level of the interview process - the online application. He told me to allow 3-6 weeks to hear back from them, and after 6 weeks I could contact them to find out about my status. I didn't even make it to 2 weeks. Now all I can think about was 'what did I put wrong on the application, what should I have said instead?'
The thing is, I answered every question truthfully, I made all entries honestly, therefore I can absolutely know they did not choose me, for me.
There is still hope, not with Delta, obviously, but with my future. The unknown. I still have hope that the Lord has a will for me. He knows my future, has set my steps before I was even born. I have hope and peace in the knowledge He has a job for me, He will place me in a position where I will be a tool for His good work - spreading His word to the unbelieving world. Loving my brothers and sisters, and caring for my family. He will allow me to be a coach for the First Grade team at the 9 AM for The Village - Flower Mound campus (a volunteer position that could have been jeopardized by the constant weekend flights of Delta). He will walk with me through any future endeavors and teach me His ways. I'm in good hands, hands that I don't deserve to be in.
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