"to cherish and continually bestow upon him your heart’s deepest devotion"

i'm married! we're married. the strangest feeling. it's like being 17 and waiting for your 18th birthday... you wait, what feels like forever, and when it's finally here - you celebrate with a few good souls, receive some blessings/ advice/ well wishes and then you go to sleep... wake up the next day, and everything feels pretty much the same. wait, shouldn't i feel different? shouldn't i look different; be different? it feels like nothing happened, and yet the biggest change in my life took place. soon i will apply for a new name, and this lindsey shaw will cease to exist in global records.

i will have a new identity, with the possibilty of a new life.

this suddenly feels like a picture of our relationship and marriage to Christ. once you committ your heart, soul, body and mind to Christ - your old self ceases to exist. and in its place you're given a new life, new heart, soul, body and mind that has been transformed by God. one that lives for Him, thirsts for Him, breaks for Him and provides Him all the glory and honor (which was once stored up for self.) you die to your old self, and you receive a new "name," a new identity, a new life.

life doesn't feel too different yet, despite the fact that i live with a boy in my room and he happens to be the best cuddle buddy in the world.... however i know my heart is changing. little by little i see how natural it can be to put him before me and find joy through that. our time together is not strained with caution for purity sake and our intimacy is not through physical acts, but acts of vulnerability and trust.

life is sweet thus far, with a hope and promise to only get sweeter.